SAN FRANCISCO, CA., Jan. 29, 2007 - It's big. It's huge. And it's coming to a computer near you. Today Microsoft released their flagship operating system, Vista, to the consumer market at a surprise release party held in the Moscone Conference Center. Despite the short notice the center was crowded with people waiting to bring in the "new era of computing."

Not only was the public surprised at the early release (Microsoft had announced the official release date as tomorrow, January 30), but even some top executives were caught off guard. In a rare interview with both Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer, Gates expressed surprise at the early release saying, "I'm proud of the whole team. This proves that not only is Microsoft capable of releasing software consumers want, but early too." When we pointed out that after countless delays the official release was supposed to be tomorrow he replied, "Early is early and we want credit for it."

Ballmer grinned and bounced on his toes.

But an even greater shock was the announcement that the "Ultimate" tag would not be the highest version level offered. No, it seemed that today would be full of surprises. After Jim Allchin pulled the curtain off the product display that showcased the 4 main versions available in the United States it was evident that another larger display box in the rear was deliberately cast in shadow. Once the audience was sufficiently curious he hit it with a spotlight to reveal the highest end model of the platform of today - Windows Vista Vasta.

The roar was deafening.

This version has got everything for everyone it seems, and many divisions of Microsoft were represented to tout the newest edition.

Noticeably absent were representatives of either the MPAA or RIAA. Given the recent wave of security holes found in Microsoft's digital rights management software many speculated their absence to be a form of protest, but nobody seemed to care.

The excitement in the air was palpable. Asked how they were able to keep a release like this so quiet at the recent CES conference where it was named Best of Show, Allchin replied "Bill had actually booked the Moscone Center for his charity to talk about immunization in third-world countries, but we felt it was more important to give Vasta it's own release party. I hear Melinda sent him to the guest house for the night."

We also ran into a few celebrities on our tour of the center and had a short conversation with Jerry Seinfeld. When asked what he thought of the new name. He replied, "Vista Vasta! I like it. It's got a Mexican flair to it. It's better than 'Salsa!'"

And of course even the politicos were on hand to lend their support. Surrounded by a swarm of security, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger was strolling with former president Bill Clinton enjoying the proceedings. "Technology is very important to California and events like these really bring the people together. I just wish all that revenue were coming to California instead of Washington!" said the governor. "Then I could get the state congress off my back."

When asked what he thought of the surprise new version of Windows Clinton responded, "I just came to see if that .Net Show babe was here. Don't print that."

We asked Kevin Johnson what he thought this release would do for Microsoft and he replied, "We expect Vista Vasta to be the greatest incarnation of Windows yet. We've really tried to put every feature we could think of in there. An exhaustive list will be coming on our web site in the next couple of days, but for now you'll just have to trust me that everything in Vasta is better. It's not big - it's huge. It's not huge - it's enormous. It's not enormous - it's Vasta."

Even the packaging is big. With a display box size of 2' x 3.5' many retailers will be wondering how to showcase the product on shelves that are much too small. Microsoft senior VP of the Central Marketing Group, Mich Matthews, said "The extra large packaging is meant to show visibly the sheer size of the product to the consumer. Bigger is better and you're definitely getting a bigger box for your dollar! It won't hurt that retailers will be forced to put our product on the end-caps where they will be most visible too."

So what else do you really get for your dollar? There's simply too much to list in a small column such as this, but suffice it to say that it must be significant since the release price is a staggering $9,999. No I didn't get the decimal wrong. Shareholders may be counting on this version to finally raise Microsoft's stock value, but only those with Google stock will be able to afford it.

That hasn't stopped die-hards from jumping on the bandwagon early though. One consumer claims he sold his car and some old stereo equipment to get himself into the latest operating system. "My wife has a Scion xB but she wanted to see if I could get enough from the Camry and stereo first. If not, well, it's definitely worth a Scion."

We have to agree.